Impurities
by StarsTilDawn
Summary: She stood at the edge of the cliff, gripping a box with numb hands. She was only a step away from a terrifying drop to where the waves lashed the base of the cliff, but she barely noticed the danger. Her attention was focused entirely on the box.


**Impurities**

She stood at the edge of the cliff, gripping a box with numb hands. She was only a step away from a terrifying drop to where the waves lashed the base of the cliff, but she barely noticed the danger. Her attention was focused entirely on the box. She made a movement as if to throw it, drawing back her hand and swinging it forwards, determined to be rid of it. Her hands couldn't let go. Instead, hating herself, she clutched it closer to her chest.

"I can't..." she muttered to herself. The words would have been inaudible even if they had not been drowned out by the wind and sea. "I can't!"

Again she moved to throw the box. Again, she couldn't do it and she found herself hugging it tightly. Tears ran down her cheeks and mingled with the salty spray. Her wet hair lashed at her face painfully.

The wind was unpredictable, and a sudden gust from behind almost threw her over the edge, box and all. Her hair flew in front of her. Darkened by the spray, it looked just like her sister's. The brief flash of memory gave her the strength to pull back her arm and throw the box as hard as she could at the sea. This time she managed to release it.

"Take it! Take it!"

A gust of wind caught it dashed it back at her. It spilt open at her feet, scattering the contents: her wand, her telescope, and a few spellbooks she had shoved in, hastily and at random. The pages flapped in the wind, quickly becoming soaked. Furiously, she knelt down and picked them up, jamming them furiously in the box. She ripped out a page in her haste, and the wind snatched it away from her. She jammed the lid down on top of them, sobbing.

Andromeda stood again and looked at the sea. She liked magic itself, but what she hated was what came with them. Unfortunately, she apparently couldn't rid herself of it. For whatever reason: fate, blood, genetics, whatever you want to call it; she had no choice.

As she looked out at the sea now, she found the primitive fury of the sea soothing. In her minds eye, she found herself once again replaying the confrontation with Bellatrix. She knew her sister better than anyone, or so she had thought. Obviously not...

_She had been in the rose garden looking for her cat when she heard voices. Andromeda had tensed,hidden underneath one of the bushes, and tried to catch more of what they were saying._

"_The Ministry could easily-" _

"_The ministry?" Bellatrix's voice was brimming with contempt. "Those muggle-loving fools couldn't find their own noses if they weren't stuck to their faces."_

"_That doesn't change the fact that you were stupid to torture them for so long! You should have killed them quickly and left before Moody turned up."_

"_And spoil all the fun?" Bellatrix gloated. Andromeda had shivered at the cruelty in her sister's voice. _

"_Keep your voice down!" the other voice hissed, growing fainter as they moved away from the place were Andromeda crouched. "If anyone were to hear us-"_

_Bellatrix interrupted again, but they were too far away now for Andromeda to catch what she said._

"_Listen to me, Black! The Dark Lord-" Andromeda strained her ears to hear the rest of the sentence, but couldn't quite catch it. She waited a long time, terrified and upset, barely noticing the thorns, before slowly detangling herself from the bushes. She felt shaken, betrayed. Her own sister... She was determined to confront Bellatrix as soon as she got up to the house, but as she crossed the vast lawn she realised she wouldn't. She couldn't. Bellatrix might be dangerous, although she couldn't quite believe her own sister would hurt her. Really, she realised, it was that she couldn't quite admit it out loud just yet. But at the same time, how could she bear to share a house with Bella, knowing what she knew?_

_And then a worse feeling began to grow inside her: suppose the same evil was a part of _her_?_

"Don't jump!" someone shouted above the wind. Andromeda spun around. A boy was running towards her, dragging a reluctant dog on a leash behind him.

"What?" She realised he must be a muggle, but was too surprised to recoil in disgust as she usually might have.

Their eyes met. "Weren't you going to jump?" he asked, slightly out of breath.

"No."

"Oh." He looked almost disappointed, before his expression changed to one of suspicion. "Are you sure?"

Andromeda's voice became cold as she remembered who she was. "I think I understand my own motives perfectly adequately." But he looked hurt, and she felt guilty. "Really, I'm OK," she added in a softer tone.

"Well, I think I should buy you a coffee anyway. Just in case."

"No, I should go home now," Andromeda said, although that was the last place she wanted to .

"Good, I'll walk with you. Spot's had enough walking for today." There seemed to be no way of getting rid of him, so Andromeda didn't bother to argue. At least, that was what she told herself. "He's supposed to get an hours walking every day, but we don't manage it that often. That's why he's so fat. Oh, and also because he knows how to open the cupboards and steal biscuits. My name's Ted, by the way. Ted Tonks. It's short for Theodore."

"I'm Andromeda." She wouldn't have admitted it, but she quite liked listening to him. It made it easier not to think about what she was going to do when she got home. He continued to talk almost constantly until they reached the muggle village. Which wasn't on her way home. With a jolt, Andromeda realised she'd walked straight past the long drive leading to her house.

"So, can I buy you a coffee?" he asked.

Andromeda hesitated. She knew she should reject his offer. She was a _Black_. She did not run off for coffee with mudbloods. Then again, she didn't usually walk right past her house, either.

"Please. You still haven't told me anything about yourself."

Andromeda couldn't help laughing. "You haven't given me a chance!"

"That's a yes, then." He grinned at her. "I promise I'll try and shut up. Everyone says I talk too much."

Andromeda allowed herself to be dragged, not quite unwillingly, to a nearby café. She'd never so much as set foot in the muggle village so far, and now here she was in a muggle café with a muggle boy. Her family would probably disown her. If they found out, that was. She sipped her coffee, savouring the way it warmed her up and washed away the bitter saltiness left in her mouth from the spray. Then she looked up at the boy, Ted. It was the first time she'd really looked at him, and she suddenly realised he was actually quite good-looking: blonde hair and sweet brown eyes.

"So what were you doing up there, if you weren't going to jump?" he asked.

"Um, it's sort of... personal." Andromeda would actually have quite liked to tell him, to pour her heart out to someone, anyone, but the last thing she needed was the ministry on her back about the breaching of the Statute of Wizarding Secrecy. "I fell out with my sister."

"Why?" he asked, then noticed the expression on her face. "Sorry, I'm too nosy. Everyone says so. You don't have to answer that."

Andromeda smiled. "No, it's not that. It's just that... I thought I knew her, but then I overheard something. She's... evil."

"Evil? That's a pretty strong word."

"But she is. And now I'm scared that I am too." Andromeda finished. She remembered her disdain for him, up on the clifftop, and felt even worse. She _was_ just like her sister.

"I'd say that if you're worried about being evil, you can't be."

"Maybe," Andromeda said dubiously.

"I mean, you always have a choice, don't you?" he continued.

"Yeah, I suppose I do." Andromeda felt better, suddenly. Of course she had a choice. Then she realised how long she'd been away from home. Her family might be wondering about her. If they came looking for her and found her here... Andromeda shuddered. She'd have to go back. She had nowhere else to go. "I have to go," she said, standing up.

"But we only just got here!"

Andromeda pulled on her coat and picked up the box from under her chair, clutching it desperately.

"Can I see you again?" he asked.

"Maybe." She really would have liked to, but it didn't seem possible.

"Can I at least have your phone number?"

"Phone number?" Andromeda stared at him blankly. She had no idea what he meant. "Well, bye."

"See you then," he shouted forlornly after her. Andromeda rushed outside. She felt tears stinging behind her eyes for the second time that day, perhaps at the exhausting prospect of having to return to her family and pretend everything was normal. She didn't expect to ever see Ted again. But at the back of her mind, she hoped she'd changed enough to do just that.


End file.
